Hilang Arah

Flutterbyazwa sebenarnya dah hilang arah. Aku dah hilang arah. Kehidupan aku dulu menyeronokkan. Aku tak tahu apsal aku dah tak berseronok. Maybe aku dah grow old. Or maybe aku biarkan diri aku metua tanpa berseronok... peh! thats deep!

Yes, ada pros dan cons bila tinggal dengan parents. In Malaysia, its not Howard-Wolowitz's-weird if you're staying with your parents. & Am not making any point here.

Aku cuma harap sesapa yang ada blog atau facebook atau twitter berenti tulis entri, status dan tweet macam tulis diary. Tapi, itu pilihan masing-masing. Oh well.. itu juga point tidak perlu di sini.

Rasanya aku perlu korek balik plan-plan yang aku ada dalam Books of Ideas: Stuffs I Wanna Do and Places I Wanna Go Before I Die. Aku perlu activate balik endorphin aku.

p/s: I've always wanted a Dark Knight cos-play/costume.....

Wise Man Indeed

Too Early To Party

Bangun awal pagi ni gua since Mak Njang mintak tolong hantarkan anak-anak dia. Keta dia kat workshop. Pukul 6.10pg gua bangun y'all. Korang bayangkan. Lepas hantar kakak dengan dekman, gua ada 45 minit untuk dibunuh (time to kill). Gua pusing-pusing Alor Setar, withdraw duit kat bank then gua pegi cari breakfast kat McD. Banyak benda rupanya boleh buat bila kita bangun awal ni.. Heh..

Sambil-sambil drive, gua menyumpah gak station radio yg turn on Somebody to Love seawal jam 7. Yup, i sang to the song.

Apsal blog entry gua sekarang dah macam tulis diari? Jahanam beno perasaannya.

Dalam kereta, masa hantar deme, gua try gak start nak borak-borak dengan adik-adik sepupu gua tu. Pagi2 ni, kita kena ceria dan meyakinkan.. Tapi tak payah la nak parti sambil nyanyi 'windows down, chillin with the radio on" Walaupun gua tak lukis misai kat jari untuk break the ice conversation macam Amy Farah Fowler, gua pun buka cerita pasal dulu-dulu time gua sekolah.

"Kak ngah dulu pegi sekolah, loceng pagi bunyi.. baru sampai sekolah. Cikgu disiplin pun kenal"

krik krik krik...

"Tu dulu kak ngah baik dengan tukang kebun sekolah. Kak ngah tolong pakcik tu cat bata yg susun-susun tu..." kata gua, bangga. Pernah gak gua berbakti kat sekolah.

krik krik krik...

"Ah, bawak keta cam pondan~!" Gua sumpah kancil putih kat depan. "Selalu kakak sampai sekolah pukul berapa?"

"6.45pagi" sepatah.

"oh...." gua lirik jam kereta. Pukul 7.10pagi. "Ada cikgu bagi apa-apa kat kalo sampai awal?" Gua sinis sebenarnya.

"Ada. Cikgu bagi hadiah. Tapi kena mai awal sepanjang tahun la..."

Sekarang baru aku ingat sumber pertama gua menyampah sekolah - pengharapan dari cikgu.

"I'm not weird, I just dont have their phone numbers.."

"Kenapa ko takde nombor telefon dia weh?"

"Errr.... I dont have many friends?"

Yeah, i know people (or some). But that doesnt mean I HAVE their numbers. Seriously.... I dont keep non-important stuff with me coz if i do, people gonna call me a hoarder.

"But, um... you know people. You chat with them and stuff. you;re socially bonding to people and strangers. Lots of smiling rainbows and happy unicorns"

"Well, yeah.. I'm a human and I'm perfectly normal. Besides, gossiping, laughing, bragging, bonding, being nice are just the kind of things that the society needs, like it or not, I'm part of the society and those stuff are obligatory.."

Like I said, I dont have many friends. In my mobile phone, I only have my nucleus family's numbers, my uncles' and aunts' numbers, 2 of my cousins numbers, 2 close friends' from primary school numbers (I should call them best friends since we still keep in touch with each other), 6 high school best friends' numbers, 5 roommates' numbers from university,

Let see, 2 from the room across the hall and 3 from block H in university, 4 of my former work place colleagues, my mentor, 4 from current work place colleagues (we dont count bosses' numbers, peeps), 5 chambering students, 10 classmates' from university, Ateq's, and numbers' of people who matters.. Like Bar Council, Bar Committee and Celcom Customer Care..

"Tapi, ko pun save number people yang matters kat ko dengan number yang salah.... Mummy, Fit, Kakak, Aya, Tehah..."

"SHUT UP, AZWA! SHUT THE FOKK UP! SHUT UP BEFORE I SHOVE YOUR MOUTH IN YOUR BOOM BOOM"