Movie Review: Tangled

Berusaha aku tido dalam kereta ofismate on the way balik dari Chenderiang sebab malam tu nak pegi tengok cerita Rapunzel kat Sunway Pyramid. hahahaha..Ingat lagi aku menjerit tengok trailer cerita ni masa aku tengok The Sorcerer's Apprentice dulu. Dan bila aku nampak "Kungfu Staring Contest!" tambah menjerit aku... Yes, peeps! Kungfu Panda will be back.

Walt Disney tanpa gagal buat animasi yang comel tahap langit!

Rapunzel versi Disney ni beza dengan Rapunzel yang kita baca dulu. Kenapa rambut dia panjang dan blonde adalah disebabkan semasa mak dia aka Permaisuri sakit nak beranak, pengawal dikerah mencari satu bunga ajaib dan bagi mak dia minum dan tada! rambut dia kaler emas. Yang menyebabkan the villain nak lock dia atas tower (which make more sense dari sebab the parents curi buah dari kebun nenek kebayan) ialah, keajaiban bunga tu ada pada rambut dia. Tapi, rambut dia tak boleh potong, kalo potong dah tak magik.

And... tibe2 datang si super handsome Flynn Rider aka Eugene Fizherbert... *ded* oh, rambut beliau bisa buat aku dup-dap, dup-dap

Maximus (the horse) and Pascal (the chameleon) as the animal companions pun lumrah filem Disney. Cute, buat ko rasa ko nak sekor. Haish!

Kalo aku jadi Rapunzel, mahu gila kalo hari-hari; kemas rumah, masak, buat kuih, melukis, baca buku, kemas rumah, masak, buat kuih, melukis, baca buku... nasib baik ada internet!

Sorry aku merapu, tapi aku tak dapat concentrate sebenarnya masa tengok cerita ni, sebab kat sebelah kitorang ada sorang minah ni, dengan kuatnya asyik... "Comelnya" (aku rasa comelnya tu ada la dalam 50 kali) and then.. "Kenapa dia macam tu?" and her annoying laugh. Twice aku sound dia,

"Dik, first time datang tengok wayang ke?"

Dan SUMPAH kalo aku kawan dia, aku akan cakap,

"Ni last aku datang tengok wayang dengan ko, retard!"

The movie was fun tho, aku rasa aku akan tengok lagi. Dengan penuh penghayatan dan konsentrasi.

My Leonard Personality Inventory Result Came Out Weird

Before we attend the training, we were requested to complete 100 questions online and from the answers we gave, the computer will generate your personality. Sounds familiar? Yeah, I know.


Dr Leonard Yong, who is an adjunct professor at University Malaya had conducted a 25 years of research on emotional intelligent. To be precise, on human psychology and personality. From hundred thousands of subjects, he concluded that we, human have five different personalities (you can have two or three, according to the graph) which are:

Openness/ Creative

• One who is imaginative, creative and have great ideas

• They are mostly painters, singers, interior designers, wedding planners.

Neutral

• One who is calm, can do job, curious, easily bored, do not want conflict and a private person

• A lot of people have N behaviour. Most Asians are. They can work under pressure and get the job done. They are reserved and can't take it when other people don't like them. Big possibility they blame themselves for problems.

Analytical

• One who like to analyze, love facts and figures, takes time to decide, tend to be perfectionist and easily irritated

• Lawyers, researchers, journalists, scientists, accountants and the list goes on.....

Relational

• Love to make friends, people-oriented, likes to talk, hate routines and facts, fun to be with

• You can see a lot of the them around you. Celebrities, politicians and PR people have this the most. They love to talk and they can make you laugh.

Decisive

• Firm, knows what to be done, like to win, like to lead, aggressive

• Successful people like businessmen, general at war, bosses.

Everybody else had similar results when we were asked to do two different tests. First test, was the one with 100 questions and second test was with 5 questions. If you get both graphs pretty much the same, then you know yourself and can work to improve your EE (Emotional Excellence) from there.

Me on the other hand, had two different results - and when I checked with the trainer, Grace Mary said it was either 1) I'm very adaptable to situations, 2) Did the test under stress or 3) Am not clear of who i am and what am capable to do.

Like i said, I is UNPREDICTABLE.. and it is proven: Psychologically!

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

So, I tricked Aya Lautner and Madam Fit to go watch Harry Potter with me in Sunway Pyramid…no no, Madam Fit tricked me and I tricked both…arrghhh… nevermind

Harry Potter 7 in my opinion is the turtle-slowest Harry Potter movie I have ever watched. Tahu kenapa? Its Harry Potter! Semua yang korang expect dari sebuah filem Harry Potter ada dalam HP7.


Scene 1 – Pengorbanan kawan-kawan
So, Harry kena diselamatkan kan, dan semua yang ambil berat pasal dia akan datang bantu. Tapi, tentulah nampak tak real kalo semua selamat dan sejahtera, jadi diorang korbankan Mad Eye dan lubangkan telinga one of the twin. Dobby pun dikorbankan bila kena dagger Bellatrix. Hermione juga kena seksa toreh tangan.

Scene 2 – Rasa bersalah Harry
Harry rasa bersalah dan cuba nak lawan sorang-sorang then Ron pun datang cakap “its not about you, its bigger than that” dan dia juga selalu 'heart to heart' talk dengan Hermione.

Scene 3 – “I Know What You Need Even When I’m Dead”
Dumbledore macam lelaki botak dalam Spies yang tahu gadget apa yang akan guna bila diorang ada masalah nanti. Contohnya Hermione dapat buku cerita, Ron dapat lighter thingy tu and Harry dapat Snitch yang dia tangkap dulu. Semua benda alah tu, bantu diorang cari klu.

Scene 4 – Benda Jahat yang diorang Jumpa akan Influence Persahabatan
Bila diorang jumpa satu benda yang ada element jahat, benda tu akan bagi diorang bad energy. Dan diorang akan terjangkit dan ada konflik. Bila ada konflik, gaduh-gaduh, sorang blah dan mintak orang yang bersalah pilih yang mana dia nak ikut. Dan 'for some obvious reason', dia akan pilih hero.

Scene 5 – Harry selalu akan diselamatkan
Bila Harry sorang-sorang dan kesusahan, tetiba je ada yang datang tolong. Kalo kita tengok balik, mula2 yang ada untuk Harry adalah Hagrid, kemudian Hermione, kemudian Ron and of course, Dobby. Satu panggung excited bila Dobby datang. Macam dia tu guardian angel si Harry. Siap minah kat belakang aku menangis teresak-esak bila Dobby mati.

Aku rasa Ginny Weasley sangat cantik bila besar, tak salah la pilihan Harry bila dia kawen kang.

Banyak je boleh cerita, but then, aku kena terima hakikat, Harry Potter ni ada peminat dia sendiri dan sebahagian besar peminat dia adalah kanak-kanak yang aku rasa tak kisah pun cerita dengan garapan lebih kurang sama over and over again. I’m not a fan, that’s why I think it’s a bit slow and predictable. Nevertheless, aku enjoy cerita alam magika dan medieval era. Turn me on! LOL

Looking forward to see how Harry destroy Voldermort in Harry Potter 8 tho. I mau tutup buku. Tahukah anda saya telah menonton semua filem Harry Potter atas usaha sorang budak bernama Iwan Syah?

Movie Review: Lagenda Budak Setan

Diorang cakap suruh aku tengok dulu sebelum kutuk LBS. Hanya kerana aku tak suka Farid Kamil yang tak mandi masa sekolah dulu tu, aku tak patut judge LBS. Aku enjoy baca LBS masa zaman-zaman muda dulu. Sewaktu itu, cuma tiga penulis kat Malaysia yang buat aku baca novel diorang - Ahadiat Akashah, Liana Afiera Malik dan Faisal Tehrani.
So, aku pun amik masa tengok LBS dari laptop adik aku. Aku bleh reviewkan la sket-sket.
1. Lambat + Lembab = Lembam?2. Prank kat kolej macam tu ke? Zaman 90an relevant la. This is 20th century, people. Mungkin boleh tukar kot. Adaptasi pun pandai-pandai la ubah yang mana patut.3. Menyampah tengok Farid Kamil asyik berpeluk sakan.4. Cinematografi cantik tho.5. Mata Shikin memang ada sket-sket mata Lisa Surihani. Dan aku stand firm yang Lisa Surihani tu patut stick dengan modelling/buat iklan je. Sebab dia cantik gile tanpa perlu bercakap.6. Sepatutnya Kasyah tu pegi pedalaman Sarawak/Sabah kalo nak buat dia terputus hubungan dengan dunia luar. Atau bagi scene dia pernah mencuba untuk call Ayu tapi disrupted ke, line tak clear ke...7. Kudos to Que Haidar. Aku rasa pembelasahan beliau sangat ohsem!8. Kenapa perlu ada watak Kate dalam Bahagian Satu kalo dah nak ada Bahagian Dua?
Okey, penat.

p/s: Sapa Sharan Sharad?

Al-Kisah AidilAdha

Jenuh aku dok pikir apsal aku sorang je yang find ayat Mak Njang aku kelakar...

9.20pm, 16th November

Anyway, aku dah bersiap dari ofis nak pergi Bukit Jalil sebab bas aku pukul 10. (satu hari tak buat keja sebab terlampau excited balik malam raya, aku kan perantau) Tiket bas aku dah beli sebelum Deepavali. Aku beli sekali untuk trip ke Melaka tu. Sesampai kat kaunter tiket, aku pun buat rutin biasa pegi sana.

Azwa: Dik, tolong check platform dan no. plat bas. (sambil hulur tiket bas ke dia)
Samdol: Akak punya bas pukul berapa?
Azwa: Pukul 10.
Samdol belek tiket lalu: Eh, akak. Bas kami takda pukul 10. Bas kami malam ni ada pukul 11 saja. Tengok tiket akak ni. Tiket akak ni bukan tiket besa bas kami pakai

Time tu, aku macam nak menjerit. Biar betul samdol kurus ni.

Azwa: Akak beli kat kaunter sini la. Sebelum Deepavali akak dah beli.
Samdol: Akak beli kat sapa?
Azwa: Ya rabbi. Jangan dok merapu boleh dak? Akak beli kat sini la. Sini. Hisyh, kena report polis ni.
Samdol: Eh, kak. Saya lawak ja.. Saya lawak ja

Aku nak sebut binatang haram tu, tapi aku rasa kalau kasi pelempang lagi menarik sebenarnya.

Samdol: Ala, kak. Lawak aidiladha pun tak boleh.
Azwa: Ni, hang toksah dok buat lawak la. Bagi no. plat tu.

Aku nak maki lama-lama kang, aku tau IQ dia rendah. So, aku malas layan.

10pm, 16th November

Bas tak sampai-sampai. Samdol tadi datang dan bagitau bas tersangkut dalam jam. Sebab ada tanah runtuh. Latest bas boleh sampai 1am. Nak menyumpah pun tak guna. Aku tunggukan saja la.

Sambil gelakkan sorang anne security yang akan tanya semua orang kat so called "platform" diorang naik bas apa. Kedua, dia akan mintak tiket bas korang dan kemudian ayat dia adalah "you tunggu ya, nanti bas itu mari" dan dia ulang ketiga-tiga ayat macam robot kat 50 manusia yang kat situ.

Tak caya? Pegi la platform 5.

8.30 am, 17th November

Aku sampai kat Alor Setar and called home to ask them to pick me up. Sakit satu badan doh, dalam bas tempuh jam. Aku kesian kat pakcik drebar bas tu jugak.

Sekali yang sampai, Siti dengan skuter hitam. *tepuk dahi* Terus aku jerit tengah-tengah Shahab Perdana.

Azwa: Hoi, ini ja yang hang bawak nak amik aku? Aku dah la balik pagi raya. Aku expect keta okay. Keta. Baru la masuk sket aku balik pagi raya

Siti: Hoi, abeh dah semua orang pi semayang raya. Aku mana ada lesen.

Moral of the Story

1. kalo taknak kena heart attack dek lawak samdol macam samdol kat kaunter tu, jangan balik malam raya.

2. kalo taknak layan bangla yang asyik minta ko masukkan no. telefon ko kat dalam hp dia, jangan balik malam raya.

3. kalo ko tanak gaduh seat dalam bas, jangan balik malam raya.

4. kalo ko tanak orang datang amik ko dengan skuter cabuk, jangan balik malam raya dan sampai pagi raya time orang pegi semayang raya.

Sekian. Salam AidilAdha~!

Love, Sex and Desire

It was N who asked me about my sexuality, it was a weird question at first but then i recalled the stupid thing I told this other girl.

The incident: I was perceived as a Bi when I said "I kinda swing both ways, by the way"

Then, she made her point by saying that she wanted to do a documentary or short film on LGBT in Malaysia, we had opened up the discussion into various other topics.

She asked me whether I have or had lesbian or gay friends? And Adam is not your friend. I paused for a moment and then said, yeah, i know some. Back in university, and now, since I work with NGOs.

I didnt know how it started when suddenly they talked about porn sites, fetishes, DIY, dressing up for sex. I did try to back out but it was interesting to see these ladies were being very open with their sexuality!

They talked about Jay, who was born as a She but had surgery and now is a He. He was like "What happened to thing on my chest? ppffttt... I felt it was only some excess fat. Had it removed. Completely" . And we're soo going to the Liquid. A gay club in Kuala Lumpur. (safest club for girls it seems..but unfortunately dah tutup)

I could not (ok, not) do not want to leave the table as they were getting wild talking about this stuff until 11pm and the manager of the restaurant had to switch off all the lights to inform us "we're closing"

Before we leave, they wanted me to organize another training on Women: Love, Sex and Desire... to do what? How to pleasure self, how to have safe sex and how to start a relationship: Guide 101.

Life is funny. And I cant stop laughing.

17 things you can only find in Malacca (ohsem weekend with Halia)

1. Went cruising on Malacca River with Halia and YB Irfan and saw ohsem villages on the riverside. But it gotten weird when suddenly at the end of Kg Morten and Kg Jawa, there built, a Pirate Theme Park. And there was this guy who washed his face with the smelly water. Everyone on the boat were like ’euuwww’
2. We headed to Kg Jawa, an-overrated place to bargain goods, so they got shops and they sells clothes/ household items, blah blah – but, when we reached its main street, it was ohsem to see all kind of warungs of Malays, Chinese and Indians serving local delights. Having cendol and gossiping about Ali Rustam, was kinda ‘out of the ordinary’.

3. Dinner at Grilled Seafood Restaurant, Kg Sungai Muara. We ordered, actually I ordered boiled clams, grilled sambal cencarus (pronounce: chen-cah-roo), fried prawns with ginger, black pepper crabs – we had to wait and hang around for 15 minutes before we could move. According to YB Irfan, we suffered from an ohsem stomach bon-bon.

4. Friday night means karaoke night at Jonker Walk. The Ah Sows’ were singing their hearts out. There were also goods that bring back those memories when we were kids – they have gula ketuk, coconut cookies, aiskrim lidi, dart bulu ayam, gendang pusing, etc. Not to forget, the antiques and curios..ohsem!

5. On the next day, (Saturday) we had breakfast at Indah Rahmania after Halia asked whether I eat mamak (girlfriend, I only eat what mamak cooked) before reaching Masjid Selat, a mosque on the seaside. The ohsem mosque was also visited by a group of tourists from Pakistan, with their weird poses in front of camera…

6. Later, Halia parked her brand-new, cute pink MyVi and we walked to Dataran Pahlawan and climbed the A Famosa Fort, at St. Paul Hill. An ohsem morning exercise, indeed. Made a wish at the wishing well and headed to Malacca Islamic Museum, when we saw the stairs again, we decided not to go in. Yes, we’re fat and too lazy.

7. Entering the Independence Memorial Building was ohsem when you’re not allowed to take pictures but you take it anyway. Learning the history (which I’m good at, and still ohsem at it) and one question stroked us – why the hell that UMNO use UMNO and not in Bahasa which is PEKEMBAR? That would be more ‘entertaining’…
8. Arrived at the 3D Museum, Beauty of the World Museum and Kites Museum – all under the same roof! The 3D Museum was ‘boooo’ but the Kites Museum was ohsemmm… (sing: I like flying kites, kites make me happy..yaya). The third museum made me thinking how stupid can man be when it comes to ‘being beautiful’. Bound their feet, pierced their chins, noses, ears with woods and iron, tattooed their faces, obsessed with corsets and bodices – man, *no word to describe*

9. Afterward, we walked to the Town Square – where situated Clock Tower, Christ Curch, Stadhuys and the Memorial Fountain. Daced to the ‘dondang sayang’ before we stopped at the famous and ohsem Big Clock Cendol. But I chose ABC and regretted it. Should’ve picked cendol.
10. We continued to Jalan Hang Lekir, saw ohsem historical buildings and arrived at Francis Xavier’s Church. It’s a gothic church built by Reverend Fabre from France. Unfortunately, it was closed on Saturday and we could not go in. Not ohsem for closing the church on Saturday, Rev.
11. We continued the journey and found Cheng Ho Museum and then the Orang Utan Shop owned by Charles Cham, who I thought was some foreigner decided to settle down at Malacca. Snapped some photo even prohibited, thanks to the ohsem akak at the store.
12. We reached the three religious houses – Buddhist temple (which I didn’t get the name) Sri Poyattha Hindu temple and Kg Kling’s Mosque. The street filled with antique store and we got chased by one Po-Po (grandma): “what you want? See? See what? Nothing to see, here only got masks, nothing to see” Yeah, Hatyai dejavu.. I can call it 'ohsem'… can i?
13. We arrived to the only and ohsem Wah Aik Hand-Made Boundfeet Shoe store. Had a warm welcome by the owner. Yeh-yeh (Grandpa) told that his family has been making the shoes since 1920s.
14. Later, we walked to the Samudera Museum, which have three different ohsem museums with the price of one. I harassed Hang Tuah, Alfonso d’Alburqerque, ibn Battuta and Awang Selamat. We met pakcik and makcik who will forever make fishing net and drying the anchovies.
15. Tired from the 4 hours walking, we headed to Tanjung Puteri Beach and cougaring some boys playing rugby. Ohsem view people, it was an ohsem view.

16. Hungry as bears, we stopped at the Asam Pedas Restaurant and ordered ikan pari and beef asam pedas. It was delicious, should the gravy is thicker, it would’ve been ohsem. We got back to Halia house and went out again with Halia’s mom and aunt shopping at the Nagoya and Mydin at MITC.

17. On Sunday morning, we had breakfast at the Nasi Lemak Ujung Pasir, thanks to the winner of Johor race, representing 2020 Motor Kel-laab~ before headed to Melaka Sentral.

3 other things you might want to know

1. Everyone who walked pass you have DSLR with them. True story. If you don’t have one, they will look at you like you’re from the 80s. not an ohsem feeling…

2. I met the ohsem Linness, a glambert I’d met at the GNT Kuala Lumpur. Didn’t recognize her, without her geisha look. But, then, when she started to laugh, I knew it. What a small world.

3. We parked at the Menara Taming Sari parking lot but never get to ride the ohsem rotating thingy ~ *sigh*

Azwa's Attempt to Write Poem 2 (Ah Lian Style): That White Satria

I saw it (again)
That white satria
The one which always
I tagged along with
Last time, long-long ago one la
Fooled around with
My friends, the peng yos
That one now hor
Call themselves - The Glampires

We went to so many places
What them called ah?
Putrajaya, Bukit Bintang, KLCC, Kg Baru
Klang, then got waterfall
McDonald’s near the Highway
Nasi Lemak Mali’s
CC Hearing, Open Houses
Somemore..
Couldn’t remember anymore worr
But many la
Gimme headache to remember one

In
That white satria
The Specky Glampire once can just slipped through
The space between front seat and back one
No need the front seater to move
Wonder if she can still do it now

I saw it (again)
That white satria
Last night at 11pm
While waiting for Specky Glampire
Talked to the owner
Of
That white satria
All excited about her trip
Me so happy for her
And reminded me of what we used to
Have fun together-gether
Oh
Why la we didn’t just stay 20?
We oredi made pact with the devil whaattt~!

I saw it again
That white satria
May I see it more-more again
Next time

Sebut betul-betul: 'Bah-koot Jalil'

INSIDEN 1

Lepas meeting tadi, lari pergi beli tiket bas ke Melaka kejap. Bila sampai kat Star LRT punya kaunter, baik punya aku cakap kat akak kaunter;

Azwa: Akak, Bah-koot Jalil satu.

Naik kening ala Ziana Zain akak tu, padahal aku tak perasan lagi tu. Dia tanya sekali lagi.

Azwa: Bah-koot Jalil (aku kuatkan suara)

Bergolek abang kat belakang. (Ok, tak bergolek la, dia gelakkan aku) Baru aku rewind balik. *tepuk dahi* B O N G E K !


INSIDEN 2

Masa tunggu tren tukar kat Chan Sow Lin, ada couple dari Sweden (aku belasah ni, tapi, aku rasa diorang orang Eropah, sebab diorang cakap pelik) datang tanya aku;

Lelaki Eropah: Excuse me, we need to go to the bus station. The man at the counter said - go to Bah-kit Jah-lil. Which tren do we need to take?..... We wait here?
Azwa: Oh, I'm heading to Bah-koot Jalil too. Yes, we need to get on the next Sri Petaling's tren. Wait here la.

(Whatta f***!)

p/s: itu lah, gelakkan orang lagi. Gelakkan orang lagi. Itu kita panggil karma, bongok. K A R M A